Hopelessly Americanized

I have never, ever satisfied a woman. Ok, thats out of the way.

I also have always failed at satisfying myself, and fulfilling my destiny. No, I am not a WASP, not in name or heritage. During Henry VIII's call to switch from the Catholic Church to the new Protestant Church of England, a (supposed) ancestor of mine, Edward Heath, the Archbishop of Canterbury, made a bold and perhaps noble decision; He remained Catholic. Once again "supposedly", my possibly batshit insane, radical uncle supplied me this information, but supposedly he was the only member of the aristocracy to remain Catholic.

A noble move? Absolutely.
Smart? No fucking way.

The guy could have taken the easy way out and ensured that his descendants could one-day create a massive corporate fraud and/or start an unwinnable Middle-Eastern War just so they could buy a fifth yacht with a 300 inch plasma screen and maybe get a loving blowjob or two out of it.

I will never forgive Edward Heath for his atrocious decision to remain loyal and principled, it is simply unforgivable . Luckily? I am only Half British though; the other half is Sicilian.

Hence why I appear to be such an intolerant asshole. And half of me is a decidedly intolerant asshole. And so is the British half for that matter, since its an Irish and Scottish half, and not from the good parts of Ireland and Scotland, all thirty yards of them. All my blood is terrifying. However, my upbringing was incredibly soft, indulged, midwestern(ish) and almost absurdly American.

I try and mask my true identity behind my uber-patriotic Americanism and my tepid support of global German dominance. My logic goes that the German race comprise more of America than any race, so the majority could probably be behind this shit, right?

Please somebody tell me, I might need to go back on pills again.

America, however, is quickly crumbling. The decline of American rule is happening now, just as many intellectuals and academics predicted during the 50's, 60's, and 70's. Global hegemony will, supposing the environment does not implode by then, likely be the birthright of a future generation of an "Asian nation to be named later".

My bet is on India. Not that I endorse gambling your silicon valley startup company away or anything like that. Please don't, seriously, Indians are probably controlling all worldwide flow of information at this point. Do not encourage them.

One thing that has always cast a shadow over me is my full-blooded Catholicism. Just to permanently establish this: I literally favor, including nearly any sort of cult, any religion besides Catholicism. I love Catholic girls, get a massive hard on every time I go to church and see those firm catholic asses lined up pew by pew. And Catholic guys are usually very cool and fun to hang out with, but the religion, cannot stand it. I will be ecstatic when Catholicism finally loses its stronghold on the world. People forget that practically all of Western Civilization was Catholic before that uppity cracker Martin Luther reared his head.

I am not even sure I believe religion has a future in the Western World. One theory of mine is that electricity replaced GOD in the 20th century. Another theory is that once the working class started making a decent wage and being treated fairly at work they stopped giving as much of a shit about praying to someone for help, since the powers that be were finally lending their own helping hand. Fuse that with my electricity theory and maybe you have got something. The bourgeouis seems like they have been skeptical of God running back to the Enlightenment. Maybe its material wealth that replaces God and religion. I dont know and thats why it drives me fuckin nuts to have constant philosophical debates. I would rather just stare at pretty pictures than drive my mind to madness.

I have spent most of today watching dvr recorded programs, its a very sad day and cabin fever is most definitely setting in. I can take comfort that it is self-imposed cabin fever due to a lingering cold. I have a lot of trouble with grammar as well; I should start studying up on that. The best thing I discovered today is that google has a project underway to digitize all the books ever written. And that half their workforce is Asian, and most of the other half is from Eastern Europe. Actually, a lot of technology companies are like that. The companies just pick the top graduates from math, engineering, science fields, whatever. Its actually a validation of the American dream but of course Americans actually born in America do not benefit. Save the rest for the next post....